So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize