mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
