it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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