do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
