Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
His nipple licking is glorious
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