We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
