You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
