i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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