Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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