I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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