Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
