i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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