and she was petting her beer can
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
there is glitter all over my balls
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
