You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize