He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
