i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize