A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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