My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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