We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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