Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
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Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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