bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
