Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
