The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
