its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
