My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
