when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
as a side note pls kill me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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