I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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