You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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