i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
