I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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