i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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