btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
