I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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