i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
