me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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