Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize