Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.

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  (630): Just got done shaving my balls. You were right. http://tfl.nu/e0qo
  Replies (22) Good night (1917) Bad night (825)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.

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  (618): oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me. http://tfl.nu/a68t
  Replies (45) Good night (3645) Bad night (1020)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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  (715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu
  Replies (20) Good night (1414) Bad night (4515)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper

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  (516): my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper http://tfl.nu/iwmr
  Replies (12) Good night (3926) Bad night (990)
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  (718): View more from New York

  i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..

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  (718): i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share.. http://tfl.nu/5uhy
  Replies (11) Good night (3650) Bad night (1206)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.

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  (405): No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull. http://tfl.nu/uent
  Replies (16) Good night (4097) Bad night (1109)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7616) Bad night (972)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.

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  (317): Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid. http://tfl.nu/n6yk
  Replies (5) Good night (1269) Bad night (1441)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even

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  (440): she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even http://tfl.nu/5199
  Replies (17) Good night (2446) Bad night (1129)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

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  (724): Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me (1-724): He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit. http://tfl.nu/ml5w
  Replies (5) Good night (1499) Bad night (531)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..

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  (217): Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself.. http://tfl.nu/ozpb
  Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (589)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

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  (410): We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off. http://tfl.nu/hhrd
  Replies (26) Good night (4424) Bad night (671)
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  (925): View more from California

  I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send

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  (925): I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send http://tfl.nu/fpx2
  Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (368)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar

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  (817): i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar http://tfl.nu/a2fz
  Replies (1) Good night (723) Bad night (308)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on

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  (315): Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on http://tfl.nu/taed
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (347)

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