Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door

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(253): I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door http://tfl.nu/jqcf

Replies (12) Good night (1130) Bad night (2427)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.

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(513): She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before. http://tfl.nu/zkf3

Replies (53) Good night (8826) Bad night (1088)
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(607): View more from New York

How was dinner with ur grandparents?

(1-607): View more from New York

I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

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(607): How was dinner with ur grandparents? (1-607) I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana." http://tfl.nu/9nup

Replies (18) Good night (1611) Bad night (6750)
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(310): View more from California

The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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(310): The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss. http://tfl.nu/o71q

Replies (23) Good night (1618) Bad night (5049)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.

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(330): Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around. http://tfl.nu/7cdc

Replies (16) Good night (5637) Bad night (1092)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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(908): It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps.. http://tfl.nu/jf04

Replies (3) Good night (1680) Bad night (855)
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(410): View more from Maryland

ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time

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(410): ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised? (860): Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time http://tfl.nu/9nef

Replies (2) Good night (2387) Bad night (785)
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(573): View more from Missouri

welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list

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(573): welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list http://tfl.nu/7gq6

Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (776)
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(530): View more from California

Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication

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(530): Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication http://tfl.nu/e0p4

Replies (11) Good night (2472) Bad night (750)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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(506): Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/xgvx

Replies (8) Good night (751) Bad night (1333)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It was like giving head to a cactus.

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(412): It was like giving head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/0gn3

Replies (14) Good night (621) Bad night (2054)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots

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(519): I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots http://tfl.nu/46f2

Replies (17) Good night (2164) Bad night (616)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?

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(405): Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it? http://tfl.nu/wmow

Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (501)
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(410): View more from Maryland

If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.

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(410): If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board. http://tfl.nu/zly7

Replies (4) Good night (1090) Bad night (608)
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(316): View more from Kansas

If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.

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(316): If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple. http://tfl.nu/506q

Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (362)

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