I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
