Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.