Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?

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(248): View more from Michigan

..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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(805): View more from California

When do i get to see u next week?

(1-805): View more from California

When I teabag your entire family

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(972): View more from Texas

And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(323): View more from California

I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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(618): View more from Illinois

we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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(704): View more from North Carolina

they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.

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(206): View more from Washington

Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now

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