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• (830): View more from Texas

  If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice

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• (516): View more from New York

  the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal

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• (+44): View more from England

  He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up

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• (863): View more from Florida

  hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.

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