Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet