Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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