It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I cockslap morals
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
