WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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