the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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