# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
