The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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