My friends, they love my intelligence
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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