they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
not ubering you a puppy
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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