So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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