For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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