I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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