I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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