I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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