woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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