I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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