Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
FUCK WHALES
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
