Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
